I had a very long discussion with B about the singing thing...and while he's very little direct help, being not-so-musically-inclined, the discussion still helped me figure some things out.
remembering what my voice professor said and was teaching me as I left the music program...I feel like I'm not quite ready for American Idol. there are still some techniques that the singers that make it to the top have, and that I don't quite have.
I could actively pursue singing again...at something like $100/hour >< I...can't justify spending that much without some sort of evidence that this thing could bear fruit for me. I'm not counting random strangers, because they only hear me for a few seconds and hadn't studied my ability or what it takes to make it.
without that extra training though...I feel like I'm not ready for American Idol or anything of that sort.
you see where this is going, don't you. it's circular.
so my options are:
A) shell out a ton of money that will likely never bear fruit - is it worth it just as a side interest?
B) just enter in American Idol and see where I stand as a singer. sink-or-swim, straight up. if I make it, awesome, and if I fail, well, I tried. -and I will likely fail, but it will hopefully be a fun ride.
C) just keep doing what I'm doing and let myself wonder "what if..." for the rest of my life, and look back on this with some amount of regret that I didn't even try (again).
I...don't really like any of those options XD I don't want to do this half-assedly, I'm too scared to go all out (and rightfully so - the odds are so slim), and I don't want to not do it at all - I feel like at some point I gotta stop ignoring all the people at the parking lots, red lights, and drive-thrus that tell me I've got a good voice and should do something with it...not to mention I love singing anyway.
and so, my conflict. in the meanwhile, I have my backup plan, no problem. but how far should I go with this, if I should go anywhere at all?
Tags: Singing Voice Confidence Conflict