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I know what my problem is!
Posted On 05/17/2009 03:35:45 by Shaelyn

I had a very long discussion with B about the singing thing...and while he's very little direct help, being not-so-musically-inclined, the discussion still helped me figure some things out.

remembering what my voice professor said and was teaching me as I left the music program...I feel like I'm not quite ready for American Idol.  there are still some techniques that the singers that make it to the top have, and that I don't quite have.
I could actively pursue singing again...at something like $100/hour ><  I...can't justify spending that much without some sort of evidence that this thing could bear fruit for me.  I'm not counting random strangers, because they only hear me for a few seconds and hadn't studied my ability or what it takes to make it.
without that extra training though...I feel like I'm not ready for American Idol or anything of that sort.

you see where this is going, don't you.  it's circular.

so my options are:
A) shell out a ton of money that will likely never bear fruit - is it worth it just as a side interest?
B) just enter in American Idol and see where I stand as a singer.  sink-or-swim, straight up.  if I make it, awesome, and if I fail, well, I tried.  -and I will likely fail, but it will hopefully be a fun ride.
C) just keep doing what I'm doing and let myself wonder "what if..." for the rest of my life, and look back on this with some amount of regret that I didn't even try (again).

I...don't really like any of those options XD  I don't want to do this half-assedly, I'm too scared to go all out (and rightfully so - the odds are so slim), and I don't want to not do it at all - I feel like at some point I gotta stop ignoring all the people at the parking lots, red lights, and drive-thrus that tell me I've got a good voice and should do something with it...not to mention I love singing anyway.

and so, my conflict.  in the meanwhile, I have my backup plan, no problem.  but how far should I go with this, if I should go anywhere at all?

Tags: Singing Voice Confidence Conflict



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Viewing 1 - 8 out of 8 Comments

From: orphans
07/01/2009 02:08:35
I writing from ps3... 'puter broken so I give better feedback when I type properly. My opinion is that if option c will bother you that much, try b and sing you heart out. Don't think of it being half-assed and like you said in b, to know where you stand. That way can decide if a is worth it to you. Sides you still audition first ne? nnn... /end seriousness


From: Shaelyn
06/15/2009 17:18:07


Tianlord wrote:

I so vote for B. Also you should record yourself and post it on here.


every time I hear myself, I think "do I really sound like that?  that's awful!"  and then delete whatever I was doing.

other people seem to like it...but I can't bring myself to post because I can't stand it XD

From: Tianlord
06/15/2009 03:06:51

I so vote for B. Also you should record yourself and post it on here.



From: Fabrael
05/19/2009 07:25:48

Yea, I know Simon. Well, not personally, but I've seen him in action. Australian Idol had it's equivalent, but I don't think he was nasty. He's been replaced my someone who's just a pure douchebag now. But eh, I don't watch it.

But, well, it sounds to me like you don't have anything really to lose. So, if nothing's holding you back, go for it!

From: Shaelyn
05/18/2009 12:23:45


Fabrael wrote:

Heh, so go in disguise the second time. That sounds kinda harsh though, really. We have a show called 'Australia's got Talent' here. Do you have an equivalent in the US? Maybe you could give that a go! It always seems to be the singers that win. At least, here it is.

People must sound different to their own ears or something. I know I don't hear myself as others hear me. But boo! I think you're just coming up with excuses!  Even if it isn't perfect quality, it'll still be good to hear.

lol.  it's harsh, but that's showbusiness.  you've got your 60 seconds to make your claim to fame and that's it.

we do have America's Got Talent too, but I don't think I'm going to go that far.  if I pursue singing after this, I'll go about it by other means.

but unless Simon actually says I'm good (I told ya he's harsh, but he also knows his shit - if he thinks I suck, I know I shouldn't be pursuing it), I'm just going to keep going for my English degree and try to teach in Japan.

this isn't really about going to the top, anyway.  I don't necessarily want the top, and I doubt I'll get to the top.  if I do, holy f*** awesome!  but, nah...it's about figuring out where my ability stands and getting some recognition.  maybe get some connections out of it.  and maybe even proving my parents wrong XD

From: Fabrael
05/18/2009 07:03:02


Quote:

there isn't a rule that says you can't enter twice, you're right.

...but, as I recall, Simon (the harshest of the judges) recognizes the people that have entered twice and told them to get out.  he doesn't even give them the chance to prove themselves.

that, and I only have two more years, so long as FOX keeps it going.  the cutoff age is 28.

anyway, I'm treating it as though I only have one chance - the question is, when and how should I play it.

and thanks :)  I still have time to think about it though - they're not even going to announce where they're going to be for auditions til late june/early july.


PS  I can't stand my voice XD  I don't know why everyone else loves it.  the only mic I have is a shoddy $5 desktop mic anyway, and it'd distort my voice I'm sure.

Heh, so go in disguise the second time. That sounds kinda harsh though, really. We have a show called 'Australia's got Talent' here. Do you have an equivalent in the US? Maybe you could give that a go! It always seems to be the singers that win. At least, here it is.

People must sound different to their own ears or something. I know I don't hear myself as others hear me. But boo! I think you're just coming up with excuses!  Even if it isn't perfect quality, it'll still be good to hear.

From: Shaelyn
05/18/2009 01:31:10


Fabrael wrote:

Personally, I'd roll with option B. Enter American Idol for fun. If you go well, then that's great for you! If you don't make it far, then at least you gave it a shot, had fun along the way but haven't really lost anything. Depening on how you go in that, maybe then you could consider option A afterwards. I'm sure there's no rule you can only enter once, so there's always next year too!

Trying to work out what to do sucks, I know. I sympathise with you. I'm trying to work out what the future should hold for me next year or the year after. While I love the job I have at the moment, it's not something that I can see myself being in forever, and it's not what I honestly, deep down want to do. It's secure though, whereas what I do want to do, writing, isn't really.

So yea, guess I'm just trying to say I think I understand your thought processes on this whole matter.

Good luck with it, and I'm sure you'll let us know what you end up doing!

P.S. Record yourself singing! It'd be great to hear it!


there isn't a rule that says you can't enter twice, you're right.

...but, as I recall, Simon (the harshest of the judges) recognizes the people that have entered twice and told them to get out.  he doesn't even give them the chance to prove themselves.

that, and I only have two more years, so long as FOX keeps it going.  the cutoff age is 28.

anyway, I'm treating it as though I only have one chance - the question is, when and how should I play it.

and thanks :)  I still have time to think about it though - they're not even going to announce where they're going to be for auditions til late june/early july.


PS  I can't stand my voice XD  I don't know why everyone else loves it.  the only mic I have is a shoddy $5 desktop mic anyway, and it'd distort my voice I'm sure.

From: Fabrael
05/17/2009 07:50:11

Personally, I'd roll with option B. Enter American Idol for fun. If you go well, then that's great for you! If you don't make it far, then at least you gave it a shot, had fun along the way but haven't really lost anything. Depening on how you go in that, maybe then you could consider option A afterwards. I'm sure there's no rule you can only enter once, so there's always next year too!

Trying to work out what to do sucks, I know. I sympathise with you. I'm trying to work out what the future should hold for me next year or the year after. While I love the job I have at the moment, it's not something that I can see myself being in forever, and it's not what I honestly, deep down want to do. It's secure though, whereas what I do want to do, writing, isn't really.

So yea, guess I'm just trying to say I think I understand your thought processes on this whole matter.

Good luck with it, and I'm sure you'll let us know what you end up doing!

P.S. Record yourself singing! It'd be great to hear it!

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